Health Month

May has been all about personal growth for me. Setting goals and doing my best to meet them. Some of these goals have been huge like Weight Watchers. However, there are so many smaller goals that I want to achieve but until this month have had to real way to track them. That is, until I discovered Health Month.

Let me backtrack a bit. I am one of those people that constantly think in terms of "shoulds." I should exercise more.  I shouldn't drink so much. I should have known better. What do you do with shoulds? They are completely useless and they just clutter your head with even more useless guilt. And who likes Guilty Gwen anyway?  Problem is, Guilty Gwen and Should-Do Sheila are totally BFFs and are usually found hand in hand.

So what I would usually do is, after hanging out with the girls for awhile (GG and SDS) I would decide that I was going to make changes.  I would make a list of all my shoulds and look at them, then forget about them until I needed to feel guilty again. This in not very fruitful, is it? This has been going on for a long time for me - a really long time. I guess you could say that Guilty Gwen and Should-Do Sheila were more than just occasional guests, they were roommates. I started to think that this was just part of life and I would just have to get used to them being there. Like you get used to that little crack on the wall that no one can see but you. Then along came Health Month.

Health Month is an online game that helps you track goals. Like the name implies, many of these are health  related, but it's not limited to physical health but mental health as well. Actually, it's not limited to anything. Whatever goal you want to set in order to improve your life is game. And, really, when you improve your life you are naturally improving your health. Right?  For me, it's a way to organize Should-Do Sheila and keep her on track preventing Guilty Gwen from ever having a need to come around.

So, it works like this.  Each month there is a kind of contest.  You choose the rules you would like to follow for that month.  These were mine for May:

When you are choosing your rules, choose carefully because once the month starts you can not alter your rules in any way.  You can see most of my rules were pretty easy, but all of them were important to me.  At this time you also choose your "reward" in you win the game and a "punishment" if you lose. I chose to buy a new outfit for myself if I won and to donate $10 to Health Month if I lost. If you do decide to pay, it's a $5 donation to the developer which is cheap and totally worth it in my opinion.

So, now you are ready to play. You start off with 10 life points. Each day you are asked to check in. If you follow all your rules you get game points and fruit. If you don't you lose a life point. If you still have life points at the end of the month you "win" the game. Sounds simple, right? Well, the game itself is simple, but following all the rules was harder than I thought! I lost 3 life points during May but was able to earn new ones as the month went on or purchase one with fruit. While the month isn't over yet, I can confidentially say I won. More than winning the game, though, I have won something much more important - confidence! So much so that I have chosen 20 rules for next month.  How that for confidence?!

In addition to playing this game on your own, you can also choose to be on a team. Teams can compete with each other and other teams making this a giving Health Month a social aspect. Right now I am playing against myself really. It's one thing that I do just for me. It might be interesting to play with someone else or have a team.  Wanna play?

Older, Wiser & Fatter

Today is my birthday and for the first time in a very long time I am actually excited about it.  I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am getting older.  Of course I have always known I am getting older, but now I am okay with it. I think it really hit me last week when we were celebrating March birthdays at work and I asked the girl next to me what year she was born in and it was the same year I graduated from college.  I am old enough to be her dad!  When did that happen?!!  I don't feel like a dad!  Then I thought, what am I supposed to feel like?  The answer is just the way I do.  I am never going to wake up and suddenly be interested in the stock market or talking about whatever it was I thought people my age should talk about.  I still want to dance around my house, giggling and singing at the top of my lungs; shows like "Glee" and "Gossip Girl" will always be my favorites; I will always see wonder in life; and, I will always sleep with a teddy bear when Joey's not here.  I will always just be me.  A new and better version of me, but still me down deep.

I have learned a lot in my years and for that I am grateful.  Some things came naturally over time, like being happy feels a lot better than being a grouch; and, some things came through a lot of trail and error, like knowing that no matter what my intentions, I am never going to be good at drinking alcohol.  (I can drink it, just like everyone "can" sing - I am just not good at it.) I know I am a lot wiser than I was ten years ago and that I will be even wiser in ten more.  I like the person I have become and am becoming with one glaring exception - I am getting fat.  Not chubby, FAT.

Now, I have nothing against fat per se, but when my big boy pants are starting to get tight, I know there is a problem.  They say, "you are what you eat," and I am becoming a big bean burrito with sour cream and extra cheese.  So, with that in mind, my goal for this year it to lose weight and learn to live a healthy lifestyle. How I am going to do this is up for debate, but however I do, I have decided to make it an adventure.

I am lucky to have Joey with me to take on this journey.  Right now we are weighing our options.  There are a lot of diets out there and everyone has an opinion on what works best.  However, we need to find what works best for us.  For the next couple of weeks Joey and I are going to be looking at different plans and will make our decision by mid-April. I thought this would be a good topic to blog about, so I am happy to say I am waking up Cooking With Sean & Joey to document this journey. I am hoping that I can prove you can always teach an old dog new tricks even an old dog like me.

Grateful For My Mom

Today marks the one year anniversary of my mother passing. I remember that day so vividly. I was feeling the best I had felt in my life. Joey and I had just finished the Master Cleanse, I had been going to a trainer for a month and all was well in my world. I was feeling amazing. My mom was in the hospital, but was doing well and was expected to be going home the next day. All was well in my world. Then I got the phone call. The poor doctor stammered around for a bit talking about a pea (yes, a pea) and I finally asked, "Did my mom die?"

"Yes," he said, "she swallowed a pea and it went into her lung. She died while we were operating to get it out."

"My mother doesn't eat peas."

"Well, she did today. I'm so sorry."

At first I couldn't believe it. Not that she died, but that she died from a pea. Of all things she had done in her life and to her body it was a pea that killed her. We are taught not to find humor in death, but I know mom would laugh about this one. A PEA!

I have missed my mom a lot this past year, but I have also been grateful. Grateful that my mother and I were so close, grateful for all she taught me and even grateful for the way she moved on.

My mother and I didn't spend a lot of time together when I was growing up, but we made up for that when I became an adult she was my best friend. A lot of what I am is because of her. We are amazingly alike in many ways - good and bad. On the good front, I embrace all those qualities of myself that remind me of her. On the bad qualities, she did her best to teach me how to work with them. She always told me that she thought she went through so many hard times to teach me what not to do. She sure did teach me and I listened. Not always at first, but I did listen.

So, today I celebrate all that is my mother. I can still feel her touching my life and if I listen closely enough she is still there guiding me down the right path. I will always be grateful to have this amazing woman in my life.

My Cup Runneth Over

The other night I took a spill. No, I didn't spill the milk or my cake mix. I had a fall. I tripped on my carpet in the bedroom and hit my head pretty hard on the chest near my bed. To make this all worse, I had been feeling flu-like so I had taken an ambian so that I could sleep and be rarin' to go the next day.

Well, this turned out to be a pretty big fall and I hit my head pretty badly and had to go the the emergency room. All is good and this isn't what I am writing about. What I am writing about is what happened the next day. I was ANGRY! Not about the fall, but about everything.

I don't know when it exactly happened but at some point along the way I turned into one of those half-full people. I used to hate those people, but there I was a Half-Fuller. Why wasn't Joey there when I fell? What would have happened if I hadn't gotten up from the fall? Why don't I own my own home? Why did my mom go? Why am I always home alone? Why can't I take great pictures for my blog? Why was my life half over and I hadn't done all the things I always thought I would? My goodness, the list goes on and on. Let me tell you Pity-Me-Patty hadn't just paid a visit, she was throwing a party and I was right there partying along with her.

I got up today and thought, what was the big deal? Okay, I kind of know. I have an unusual fear of falling in the shower and no one noticing. Then I thought about it more. Yes, I did fall. Yes, it was pretty ugly. But you know what? When it happened I called my friend, Marc, and he showed up to my house in like a minute. No joke, he must be magic because he was there, took me to the hospital and stayed the there with me. What a blessing and that is sure not a "half-full." The next day Karolyn listened to me whine on the phone all the day. She was right there just like she always is. Another not "half-full." And, Joey, as always is was right there for me and showing me so much love it's crazy. None of these are "half-fulls." Sure, would I like Karolyn to live right down the street; for my mom to still pick up the phone; for Joey to be here 24 hours a day? You bet I would. Realistic? NO. Whiny? YES!

So, here's what I came up with. My cup isn't half empty. My cup runneth over. When I think about it I have so so so many things that I am thankful for. I just forget to be thankful for them. And while my cup does runneth over, it's messy. Just like life. It's a good mess, though.

Once again, I have told Pity-Me-Patty to take a hike. I am sure she will be back, but maybe next time I can just serve her some chips and dip and she will be on her way.


I have one more little thing to post here. I expect a whole lot from Joey and he sure does give me a whole lot. I am certainly a handful. Since he is my little "Island Boy" I wanted to share this video with him and everyone.